Hikari's Day Out
by Opal Bean
Summary: After drinking some of Malik's happy potion, Yugi decides to see if the process of yamis taking control of thier hikari's bodies, is vice-versa.
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1: Hikari's Day Out  
  
Yami: //Hikari?//  
  
Yugi: /Yes, Yami!? ^_^/  
  
Yami: //Would you mind explaining why I can't seem to leave my soul room?//  
  
Yugi: /Oh! Well last night I was really bored and ate a lot of sugar! And telling the Dark Magician Girl, that the Dark Mage was stealing her go-go boots again, got tiresome. It was awesome at first, it was like the ultimate cat fight!/  
  
Yami: //.........//  
  
Yugi: /So then I got on to thinking about you and the other yamis/  
  
Yami: //Really....//  
  
Yugi! /Yeah I thought, how it only ever seemed like the yamis could take over the hikaris! Wouldn't it only be fair if we could do the same thing to you?/  
  
Yami: //Sensing danger now..//  
  
Yugi: /Really? That's weird. Anyway I decided to test my theory and it worked! ^____^/  
  
Yami: //I had noticed.//  
  
Yugi: /Wow Yami, you really are taller than me!/  
  
Yami: //Noticed that also...//  
  
Yugi: /Wooooah and your skin is REALLY soft too! Hey you smell like strawberry lotion! Yami do you moisturize?/  
  
Yami: //.......//  
  
Yugi: /Yami? You still there?/  
  
Yami: //Aibou speaking of bodies, where is yours. Surely if we're both in mine your body is vulnerable to one of the baka tomb robber's tricks.//  
  
Yugi: /Oh! I thought about that so I put it someplace safe where he will never find it!/  
  
Yami: //And where may that be Hikari?//  
  
Yugi: /On his bed./  
  
Yami: //WHAT? YUGI, YOU HAVE PRACTICALLY HANDED YOURSELF TO HIM!!!//  
  
Yugi: /Oh, no need to worry about that! Ryou told me that his yami never actually sleeps in there, because he's always to preoccupied in Ryou's bed!/  
  
Yami: //......//  
  
Yugi: /Yami?/  
  
Yami: //No_amount of therapy....will EVER make this moment okay!!!//  
  
Yugi: /Well that's nice, okay Yami! Time to go to school!/  
  
Yami: //Y-Yugi! What are you doing! You're still in my body!//  
  
Yugi: /Yeah I know! I wanna be you today!/  
  
Yami: //Are you completely bonk- hikari? Wouldn't you much rather be in your OWN body? It's such a pretty body!//  
  
Yugi: /Yes it is, isn't it? But, no! I don't want to be pretty, I want to be sexy and do all the things I normally can't do, because of my sweet, innocent demeanor!/  
  
Yami: //What do you mean, 'things you can normally do'....//  
  
Yugi: /Oh, things like mock Bakura, scare Jou, shave Honda's head, be the 100th person in this series to openly molest Anzu. Ya know, that sorta stuff! ^_~/  
  
Yami: //Yugi, I really think you should turn around now. We'll - we'll even stop by the bagel shop and get some cream cheese bagels! Will that help? Huh? Cream cheese, creamy creamy cheesy cheese cream bagels? Yugi?//  
  
Yugi: /Wow! That old woman can scream loud! /  
  
Yami: //Oh Ra.//  
  
Yugi: /Having shadowy magicky powers is cool! You didn't tell me this was so fun!/  
  
Yami: //Aibou why did you send that senior citizen's clothes to the shadow realm?//  
  
Yugi: /The pattern was ugly. Besides her leather corset she was wearing under the dress is so much nicer!/  
  
Yami: //*twitch* And her dog?//  
  
Yugi: /It reminded me of paper.../  
  
  
  
Yugi: /Look Yami, squirrels!/  
  
Yami: //No.//  
  
Yugi: /They're really cute too!/ Hi Mr. Squirrel, your name is going to be Quincy!  
  
Yami: //Yugi, put the squirrel down//  
  
Yugi: Quincy your face looks awful sad. Could you be lonely? Well I will find you someone to love! Look she's pretty!  
  
Yami: //Please stop making the squirrel kiss the pigeon//  
  
Yugi: /*looks at the trees* *sees a bunch of squirrels staring at him* Ahhhh! Look at all the squirrels!/  
  
Yami: //This can't be happening//  
  
Yugi: Quincy your starting a squirrel army aren't you! Why Quincy! WHY!!??  
  
Yami: //Yugi, was it really necessary to throw Quincy at the tree?//  
  
Yugi: / I had to! Quincy was evil!!!!!/  
  
Yami: //And what did sending the park to the shadow realm achieve?//  
  
Yugi: /I had to make sure that his army of doom was destroyed before they unleashed their squirrelly wrath of doom on us all!/  
  
Yami: //Uh huh, and exactly how much sugar did you have last night?//  
  
Yugi: /I don't really remember. After I had some of Malik's special happy drink, things got kind of fuzzy/  
  
Yami: //You were at that blonde_baka_motocycle_obsessed_needy_attention_starved_freak's house last night!? AND YOU DRANK SOMETHING *HE* GAVE YOU!!!//  
  
Yugi: /Yup! And he was the one who also gave me the idea to take over your body!/  
  
Yami: //....Yugi, what exactly where you doing at the psycho's house anyway//  
  
Yugi: /N-nothing...much..really!/  
  
Yami: //...You didn't close the link there, hikari//  
  
Yugi: /W-well, it's not like you have a clean slate either! Malik told me that you frequently visit his house!!/  
  
Yami: //*gasp* I TOLD THAT BAKA TO KEEP HIS FECKING MOUTH SHUT!! *screeches*//  
  
Yugi: /Oh, he told me plenty! Like the time on in the school's drama closet?/  
  
Yami: //....//  
  
Yugi:/ With Bakura on the roof? Malik in the principles office. Bakura again in the janitors closet. Malik in Anzu's locker. Bakura, during an assembly. The threesome with Bakura and Malik!/  
  
Yami: //Oh! Like it's so unheard of!//  
  
Yugi: /On Malik's motorcycle!/  
  
Yami: //I was feeling a teensy bit kinky that day alright!?//  
  
Yugi: /While it was moving.../  
  
Yami: // It's not as bad as it sounds!//  
  
Yugi: /Don't you mean, 'as it looks'? I'm in your body Yami, I can access these memories easily and *trust* me - it looks bad/  
  
Yami: //That's it! Turn around I want to go home! Right now! *stomps transparent foot*  
  
Yugi: /Not yet Yami, I haven't even reached school yet! Honda has a date with grandpa's electric shaver and I would hate for him to miss it! ^_^/  
  
Yami: //ARRRRRRRRRGH!! MALIK I AM GOING TO BLAST YOUR ASS TO THE BACK OF THE SHADOW REALM YOU SICK FUCK!//  
  
Yugi: /Language Yami! ^_____________^/  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
God I am tired and need ideas. What do you guys think? Trash? Continue? Up to you if you R&R!!! Ja for now! 


	2. Chapter 2: This Calls For Many Hours Of ...

Chapter 2: Well This Calls For Therapy  
  
Yugi: /Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Hahahahah!!/  
  
Yami: //.......//  
  
Yugi: /Wow! That was a lot a fun! I wanna do that again!/  
  
Yami: //No//  
  
Yugi: /Awwwwww come on, Yami! Don't be such a sparkly, colourful stick in the mud!/  
  
Yami: //What? This can't be happening, it's not! I'm just going crazy is all, I am in Yugi's bed, still...ARGH! Yugi!//  
  
Yugi: /You weren't answering me!/  
  
Yami: // SO YOU SEND ME MENTAL PICTURES OF ANZU FLASHING ME!??//  
  
Yugi: /Did you feel pain?/  
  
Yami: //Yes....//  
  
Yugi: / Well obviously your awake then, hmm?//  
  
Yami: //Point taken.//  
  
Yugi: / ^____^/  
  
Yami: //But that doesn't explain why, when walking by the "Yaoi-Haters" realm, you viciously grabbed Otogi and frenched in outrageous positions//  
  
Yugi: /I think he's still passed out!/  
  
Yami: //..I am never letting you near Malik again. Booty calls or no booty calls. He and all liquids made by him, are off limits!//  
  
Yugi: /Tell me about it! I drank that thing hours ago, and I still wanna stomp on small animals and take every thing that is long and golden like.../  
  
  
  
Yugi: /And there's the school!/  
  
Yami: //I suppose crying wouldn't stop you huh?// Yugi: / Nope! /  
  
Yami: //....SQUIRREL MOLESTER!!!!//  
  
Yugi: / @___@?/  
  
~~Jounouchi, Honda and in the corner of the classroom plotting to look like they are plotting something. Ryou and Malik are chatting calmly whilst Marik chases the teacher with the Mil. Rod. Bakura sits at a desk reading "Hormones and You" by Richards Simmons.~~~  
  
Yugi: *bounds into the room* KONNICHIWA! MINA!!  
  
Everyone: *face faults*  
  
Yugi: *Takes out the lollipop he stole from a six-year-old on the way over. Starts to lick loudly and expressively*  
  
Jounouchi: Er, ah, Hi Yami? Where's Yuge?  
  
Yugi: Turns to Jounouchi and smiles insanely* *points* MOPPET HEAD!  
  
Jounouchi: *Scared witless*  
  
Yami: //Aibou please stop skipping about the room. I am Pharaoh. Pharaohs don't skip. They stalk.//  
  
Yugi: *Increases skipping and begins to sing * I SEE LONDON! I SEE FRANCE! YAMI MALIK'S IN MY PANTS!!!!  
  
Marik: *pops his head in from the four story window* Quite right!  
  
Everyone else: *shakes their heads really hard and pretend they see nothing*  
  
Yugi: *stops in front of Bakura*  
  
Bakura: *looks up and glares* What do you want interbreeding breath?  
  
Yugi: *leans across his desk and is nose to nose with Bakura* Bakura-chan? Can't we please stop fighting? Can't we friends?  
  
Bakura: *chokes* WHAT?!!  
  
Yami: //WHAT!?//  
  
Yugi: *blushes* I have admired you for so long. I've wanted to be held in your arms since before I can remember. *eyes have drooped*  
  
Bakura: *hyperventilating*  
  
Yami: * having a seizure*  
  
Yugi: Kura-chan? *jumps over the desk and straddles Bakura. Leans his head into Bakura's and sighs dramatically* 3000 years is such a long time. But I never forgot you Kura-chan. You were always in my heart and I have always felt so cold when you were not there.  
  
Everyone: *has leaned in and watching intense scene. Even the teacher in Marik's headlock have peeked in through the window*  
  
Yami: *Is foaming down his front*  
  
Yugi: Kura-chan? *rocks his hips slightly*  
  
Bakura: *squeaks, tries to escape as Yami's body leans straight against his chest*  
  
Yugi: Kura-chan, w-will you...will you make me yours!? Onegai?  
  
Everyone: *gasp like TV audience*  
  
The yamis: *all die again*  
  
Bakura: *dazed* Meep?  
  
Yugi: *claps hands giggling* Oh Bakura! I knew you cared! *grabs Bakura and French - dididlely - enches him*  
  
Everyone: *hits the floor in mock death*  
  
Yami: *dies again. Revises, sees the scene before him. Dies again.*  
  
Yugi: *is still kissing Bakura*  
  
Bakura: *twitches every so often*  
  
SpongeBob Narrator's French Accent: 10 minutes later.  
  
Yugi: *pulls back* *smiles sweetly and leaves*  
  
Everyone: *picks themselves off the floor*  
  
Malik: Well that was definitely interesting  
  
Ryou: *stands by Bakura waving his hand in the thief spirits face* Yami? Bakura? Are you alright dear?  
  
Bakura: * sprawled across chair, comatose and drooling*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I enjoyed this one, lol. You know the drill campers! 


	3. Chapter 3: Sounds Like A Fad To Me

Chapter 3: Sounds To Me Like A Fad  
  
~~Ryou and Malik are in Ryou's room drinking tea~~  
  
Ryou: Yami was acting quite odd today, wasn't he?  
  
Malik: He's always odd, all the yamis are. They're freaks without trying  
  
Ryou: Well I meant aside from the yami odd. I meant he was different from HIS Yami odd.  
  
Malik:....Huh?  
  
Ryou: *sighs* Yami is odd yes, but have you ever known him to be friendly? Or in love with Bakura for that matter? *shivers* I still don't like thinking about that.  
  
Malik: *pokes biscuits suspiciously* What about how HAPPY he was? The fact that he can smile at all scares me shitless. *waves a biscuit* Are these fat free?  
  
Ryou:.....no...  
  
Malik: *throws down biscuit and pouts* Well forget it then! Pastries go straight to my hips and I have my figure to watch. *smirks*  
  
Ryou: .........  
  
Suddenly!!  
  
FLASHY BLINDING LIGHT!  
  
THUMP!!!  
  
Malik: What the hell was that!?  
  
Ryou: Hmmm, I didn't know Bakura was getting home so early today.  
  
Malik: *blanches* Bakura? *quickly ducks under table, and comes back up knocking the tea set out of the way, slamming a large, black bottle of Russian Vodka in its place* *sticks shot glass in Ryou's face* Oi wench! Pour me another!  
  
Ryou: *glares at Malik and pushes the glass away from his face* I don't think it was Bakura.  
  
Malik: Why?  
  
Ryou: Because the ruckus came from his room.. Malik: *nods* Oh.  
  
Ryou: *stands up* Well, come on then.  
  
Malik: Huh??  
  
Ryou: Don't you want to find out what that was? *raises eyebrow*  
  
Malik: Oh. *gulps* No, no! That's okay! You go on a head with out me!  
  
Ryou: *glares*  
  
Malik: *whimpers* Can't we just drink some more tea?  
  
Ryou: *puts hands on hips* It could be a monster that is planning to eat the next person who walks by that room.  
  
Malik: Good, maybe it'll eat Bakura.  
  
Ryou: Or it could be me strapped to a bed naked.  
  
Malik: *jumps into the hall with fighting flag* Onward, we face the perils that await us! *stomps off courageously*  
  
Ryou: *sighs and follows*  
  
Malik: Okay...okay we are at the door.  
  
Ryou: I noticed when we stopped in front of it.  
  
Malik: *glares* Are you mocking me?  
  
Ryou: *rolls eyes* Wouldn't dream of it.  
  
~~Loud moaning sounds start coming from behind the door~~  
  
Ryou: EEP! *hides face in Malik's back*  
  
Malik: *suppresses urge to melt*  
  
Ryou: Do you think it's a ghost?  
  
Malik: After all the times you've been possessed by one of the most psychotic freaky, spirits in the world - your STILL terrified by ghosts!  
  
Ryou: Yeah!? Well you're the one whose yami couldn't even find a use for you! He banished you to the Shadow Realm for Ra-sakes!  
  
Malik: .........  
  
Ryou: .........  
  
Malik: *lip quivers*  
  
Ryou: @_@!!!  
  
Malik: *begins hiccupping trying hard not to cry*  
  
Ryou: .........Malik...I'm sorry. I didn't-  
  
Malik: *screeches* You LIED to me!  
  
Ryou: @_@ *falls back* W-what?  
  
Malik: *points finger in Ryou's face* How can you possibly be out here, AND tied naked to a bed waiting for me to play out some of my wildest fantasies - AT. THE. SAME. TIME!!!!!!!  
  
Ryou: ..........BAKA!!! *pushes Malik through Bakura's door*  
  
Malik: WOAH!!!  
  
~~silence~~  
  
Ryou: Malik? You okay?  
  
Malik: Ryou....  
  
Ryou: Yes? *inches closer to the newly broken down door*  
  
Malik: .....I had no idea you were such a Freeeeeeeeeeeeeack!! =^_______^=  
  
Ryou: *looks in* Wha? -AAAAAHHHH!!!  
  
Malik: AHHHHHHH!  
  
Yugi: AHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Ryou: YUGI!  
  
Yugi: RYOU!  
  
Malik: POCKY!!! *dives for strawberry flavoured sticks*  
  
Yugi & Ryou: -.-____-.- ......  
  
Ryou: *turns to Yugi* What are you doing in here! Chained to the bed no less! *unchains him*  
  
Yugi: *chucks insanely* Before that, how is Bakura. I have to say I had no idea he was such a submissive partner.  
  
Ryou:........you didn't.  
  
Yugi: I did! ^_^  
  
Malik: *soul sister voice* Oh_Noh_you_did-ant!!  
  
Yugi: ^_______________________^  
  
Ryou: Shut-  
  
Malik: UP!!!!  
  
Yugi, Ryou & Malik: *jump up and down squealing*  
  
Ryou: EEEEEEE!! Yugi, I can't believe you!  
  
Malik: I didn't think it was actually possible! I was totally talking out of my ass when I said you should see if it would work!  
  
Yugi: I know! I didn't expect it to work either, but when I snuck in here last night, I closed my eyes and concentrated and the next morning-  
  
Ryou: You were Yami!  
  
Yugi: Like totally *giggles*  
  
Ryou & Malik: *nods in agreement* Soooooooo totally!  
  
Yugi: *sighs* But after I made Yami walk around naked in the Mary Sue class in room 4 B, he went psycho and kicked me out.  
  
Malik: Understandable, they are just plain scary. Marik fears them, more then he does the smurfs.  
  
Ryou: Like Barney, Teletubbies and the Smurfs combined.  
  
Yugi: Yeah. All I remember is him saying something in Egyptian and I'm waking up here. When I rolled over to get up, I heard a Snap! PING! And I was chained at every limb.  
  
Ryou: Yes, Bakura tends to booby-trap and curse a lot of the furniture. I nearly had a bloody heart attack when the tea kettle started screaming, "STOP DRINKING TEA WENCH, AND FIX BAKURA DINNER!"  
  
Malik: *pops up from behind Yugi* And he keeps that weird looking eye guy, in the ugly red suit in the cage over there! *points to steel bar cage in the corner of the room, that magically appeared on cue, because the fates deemed it so.*  
  
Yugi: Pegasus?  
  
Ryou: *sighs* Bakura caught him sniffing around for the Mil. Eye a few months ago and has kept him here since.  
  
Pegasus: Snarf?  
  
Ryou: *picks up broom* Quiet you! *pokes the broom through the bars in Pegasus side*  
  
Pegasus: HISS! SNARL! GROWL *burrows into the corner of the cage*  
  
Malik: *turns to Yugi* Hey, are you going to be able to go home tonight? I seriously wouldn't want to be in your shoes shrimp.  
  
Yugi: Hey!  
  
Malik: Sorry. Reflex.  
  
Yugi: *grumbles* I don't know, actually I was going to ask if I could stay here tonight. I don't think I want to be with Yami alone right now.....*snickers*  
  
Ryou: If you would like Yugi, you can stay here! After the stunt you pulled today as Yami, Bakura will probably be off somewhere getting as wasted as he possibly can!  
  
Malik: *gasps excitedly* Why don't we ALL stay here tonight! We can talk about this possessing thing, order pizza, paint out nails and have a-  
  
Yugi, Ryou & Malik: GAB-FEST!!!!!!! *link hands and squeals*  
  
Pegasus: Yay!  
  
Ryou: *raises broom threateningly*  
  
Pegasus: *whimpers and goes back to his corner*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
WHOOOO! That felt good to get out, and three pages longer then my usual chappies! Your reviews really do inspire me, thank you minna!!! ^________^  
  
Now! To the left, sports fans!  
  
ONE! TWO! ONE! TWO! PLEASE REVIEW!!! 


	4. Chapter 4: The Sounds Of A Yami's Scream...

Chapter 4: The Sounds Of A Yami's Screams  
  
Bakura: //HIIIIKAAARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!//  
  
Ryou: /Good morning Bakura-koi! Sleep well?/  
  
Bakura: //NO! Because obviously I. Am. Still. Dreaming. And the dream is shit!!!!//  
  
Ryou: //Oh really, Bakura, you're over reacting. //  
  
Bakura: //The fuck I am!! What the hell are you doing in my body Hikari- twerp! Are you LOOKING for a reason for me to beat you??//  
  
Ryou: /You would hurt me, koi? *sniffles*/  
  
Bakura: //*sighs, totally light-whipped* No, I could never hurt you on purpose. *sulks*//  
  
Ryou: /^__^/  
  
Bakura: //But that does not explain why you are in control of MY body! *having a hissy fit*//  
  
Ryou: /*giggles* Well I found a loop hole! So I can take over your body too! Muahahahahhahahahah!/  
  
Bakura: //B-b-b-but that's *eyes tear up* MY JOB!!! You are filching me of my maniless!! //  
  
Ryou: /Taking over my body makes you more of a man?/  
  
Bakura: //It makes it perfectly clear that I wear the pants in this screw- lationship.//  
  
Ryou: /We both wear pants, Bakura../  
  
Bakura:// The ones that aren't ironed, Hikari.//  
  
Ryou: /*shivers* Oh. I don't know how you can stand living with pants that don't even go through the dryer! /  
  
Bakura: //Some of us can live without lilac-scented fabric softeners, koi.//  
  
Ryou: /Fine, *mutters* Neanderthal./  
  
Bakura: //What was that? *suspicious*//  
  
Ryou:/ Nothing, Yami!/  
  
Bakura: //.........//  
  
Ryou: /^_______^;;/  
  
Bakura: //Alright, I've accepted the part that you stole my body. Yet why must I be chained to a car naked, in my own soul room?//  
  
Ryou: /Revenge, dear./  
  
Bakura://I figured as much.//  
  
Ryou: /Good lord, Bakura! What have you done to all your uniforms?/  
  
Bakura: //Not when Mr. Jacket, meets Mr. Machete.//  
  
Ryou: /Right! Well we will fix that! *heads to his own closet*/  
  
Bakura: //What are you doing!!! *panics*//  
  
Ryou: /I'm wearing one of my uniforms, you cannot expect me to let people see you like this?/  
  
Bakura: //NO!!!! Part of the great gig about having my own body, was that I would never have to wear the same thing as you again! You dress like Yugi's grandfather!!!! *points accusingly...er in Ryou's head*//  
  
Ryou: /I DO NOT! *stomps foot* I just know how to take care of my clothes is all!!! /  
  
Bakura: //Hikari, you will not leave this house, in my body dressed. like. that.//  
  
Ryou: /Try and stop me Yami. Are we forgetting WHO is tied to a car?/  
  
Bakura: //*whimpers* Please Ryou? I couldn't live myself if I was seen dressed as you again.//  
  
Ryou: /Oh, alright! *grins evilly* But only if you say it?/  
  
Bakura: //*scared* S-say WHAT, hikari? Eh-heheheheheheheh.......heh?//  
  
Ryou: /You know WHAT! *smirks*/  
  
Bakura: //*trembles* ......NO!!!!! I REFUSE!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!!//  
  
Ryou:/ *warningly* Bakura.....*raises bunny sweater* /  
  
Bakura: //*hangs head in shame like a whipped man* You are my sunshine. My. Only. Sunshine. You. Make. Me. Happy. When. Skies. Are. Grey. You'll. Never. Know. Dear. How. Much. I. Love. You. So Please. Don't. Take. My. Sunshine. Away. //  
  
Ryou: /And? *puts hands on hips expectantly*/  
  
Bakura. //Aisheteru..........................................oh, tenchi-sama.//  
  
Ryou: /^___________^ /  
  
Bakura: //*is crying*//  
  
Ryou: /Well, now that I'm wearing these rags you call clothes, I guess it's off to school!/  
  
Bakura: //*twitches* ...What was that?//  
  
Ryou: /You didn't really think I was getting dressed to parade around the house, now did you?/  
  
Bakura: //As a matter of fact, I FUCKING DID!!!!//  
  
Ryou: /Oooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Pretty colours!!/  
  
Bakura:// Colours? What the hell are you talking about Gaki! //  
  
Ryou:/ I think Malik's happy drink is finally starting to take affect./  
  
FUCK!!!!????//  
  
Ryou: /It really is working, I feel almost drunk! *eyes grow big* And I want to find something to kill with long, slender rod-like things... /  
  
Bakura: //.........Hikari, what colour was the drink Malik gave you?//  
  
Ryou:/ Hmmmmmmmm *puts finger to mouth. Cheeks are tinged from thought*/  
  
Bakura: //AND STOP MAKING ME LOOK KAWAI WHILE YOUR AT IT, RA-DAMMIT!!!//  
  
Ryou:/ I believe it was purple with sparkly gold swirling all around it! *waves arms around to make his point* oh! And the bottle was throbbing!/  
  
  
  
Ryou: /*hugging a tree*/  
  
Bakura: //You.................YOU FUCKING IDIOT, TWERPY- GAKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!//  
  
Ryou: /Hmm?? *looks at the tree and smiles shyly at it* Did you say something Mr. Tree?/  
  
Bakura: //YO! ME, RYOU! ME! FOCUS ON ME!//  
  
Ryou: /Oh, hello Kura'chan. Did you enjoy the sheep?/  
  
Bakura: //Yeah, sure whatever. Ryou, do you happen to know what was in that little drink that Malik gave you?//  
  
Ryou: /My face?/  
  
Bakura: //Marik's sweat, you idiot! We were sneaking it into kindergartner's lunches a month ago! His faggot hikari must have got his hands on it.//  
  
Ryou: /Malik is a cigarette? /  
  
Bakura: //*pulls out some hair* No, faggot as in gay! A homosexual, goes for guys! I can't get any clearer on this Hikari!//  
  
Ryou: /But we're gay as well dear. You can't have forgotten last night. Or all the times with Yami and Marik. Also that threesome kills any idea that you were ever straight./  
  
Bakura:// HOW'D YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT!!!???//  
  
Ryou: /I heard about it. Twice actually. /  
  
Bakura: //ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHH!!!//  
  
Ryou: /*giggles* I love Mr. Tree and he loves me!!!! *snuggles into tree* *bird begins squawking at his head, because he nearly kissed her nest*/  
  
Bakura: //Well the tree hates you.//  
  
Ryou: /*gasp and leans back* What!? *stares at the tree in shock*/  
  
Bakura: //*snickers* It says it hates you, and it knows a sapling that really shakes his bushes!//  
  
Ryou: /Why you!!! *punches the tree* *its blasted to the Shadow Realm on impact*/  
  
Bakura:// O_o!!!!!!!!!!!//  
  
The Bird: OO!!!!  
  
Ryou: /*looks mildly surprised*/  
  
Bakura: //When your in my body........you get Shadow Magic.....//  
  
Ryou: /*slowly smiles* Heehehehehheheeheeeheee..............*throws back his head* MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!/  
  
Bakura: //Somebody help me! *whimpers*//  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Whoops! I had forgotten to put in the little slashie thingys to show they are speaking through the mind link! So revised!  
  
And Also!  
  
Kitsueni Moeru I would feel completely honored to read your stories! Just give me a heads up when you get your stories up again, and I will be one of the first to review ^___^!!!!!  
  
Alright, ready kiddies!?  
  
JUMP TO THE LEFT! JUMP TO THE RIGHT!  
  
CLAP YOUR HANDS ONCE!  
  
WHY DONCHA REVIEW TWICE!!!! 


	5. Chapter 5: Hugs For The Lonely!

Chapter 5:  
  
Bakura: //There are many things I hate in this world. Bunnies. Children. Happy teenagers. Unmolested nuns. Life. And any one happier than me, in general. Added all together however, they do not even come 'close' to the amount of hate, I feel for YOU!//  
  
Ryou: /I remember a time when you never talked to me. A happy time it was. Oh sure, I could here your incessant rantings, but they were to yourself../  
  
Bakura: //SHUT UP! I SWEAR TO RA, RYOU! WHEN I GET OUTTA HERE YOU'RE DEAD! YOU HEAR ME? DEADIER THAN THAT FRIGGIN BAKA PHARAOH'S LOVE LIFE!!!//  
  
Ryou: / Oh, well I don't think that's possible/  
  
Bakura: // *is curled in a ball rocking back and forth* I hate you so much! I hate everything! I want to die! Mommieeeeeeeeeee!!!//  
  
Ryou: /I really didn't think you were so scared of-/  
  
Bakura: //I do not fear it! Don't even begin to think that!! I am petrified of it, Ra-dammit!//  
  
Ryou: /She's not that bad./  
  
Bakura: // DON'T GIVE IT A GENDER! Once you give it a gender you want to make contact, and try and understand its ways, instead of blasting its ass off in a glory of flame and flashy lights!!//  
  
Ryou: /......./  
  
Bakura: // *panting from passionate speech*//  
  
Ryou: /Anzu./  
  
screaming, running around in circles quite...girlishly*//  
  
Ryou: /I didn't know you sang opera ^___^/  
  
Bakura: //This is not opera. It's me panicking at the very mention of the name torture you have sealed my fate to!//  
  
Ryou: /Agreeing to go on a date with Anzu?/  
  
Bakura: //*starts earlier process all over again, only this time there are tears*//  
  
Ryou: /OH! Kura! Kura, look at that! I want it!/  
  
Bakura: //Huh, wha-............................NO FUCKING WAY!!!//  
  
Ryou: /It feels so soooft *blushes in complete ecstasy*/  
  
Bakura: //Put. Down. The. Mothering. Justin. Doll. Now!//  
  
Ryou: /*giggles* Oh, but it's not a doll! It's an action figure! *waves Justin doll, er, action figure around*/  
  
Bakura: //.........//  
  
Ryou: /WOOSH!!! *spins around, Justin doll grasped heroically in outstretched hand* IT'S SUPER JUSTIN! HERE TO SAVE THE DAY WITH MELODIES OF LOVE AND STALKING EX-GIRLFREINDS! WHHHEEEEEEE!/  
  
Bakura: // I don't think you realize how much I want to kill you right now...//  
  
Ryou: /Kura, this man wants me to pay for Super Justin. I don't wanna./  
  
Bakura: //*sighs* Then send him to the bloody shadow realm and be done with it!//  
  
Ryou: / He's really mad. I think all he needs is the reassurance he's loved!/  
  
Bakura: //......What!?//  
  
Ryou: / =^__________________^=/  
  
Bakura: //Ryou, stop hugging the merchant//  
  
Ryou: /He keeps yelling, so I guess he's happy! I think this calls for a snuggle!/  
  
Bakura: //No, this calls for a slap//  
  
Ryou: /Oh dear he doesn't seem happy now/  
  
Bakura: // I think you crossed the line when you kissed...//  
  
Ryou: /*sighs* Oh well I tried. I guess now I should probably just give him Justin back/  
  
Bakura: //Somehow I don't think that will work//  
  
Ryou: /Kura! Why is he still mad! I gave him Super Justin back!!/  
  
Bakura: // AFTER you put it in your pants// Ryou: /So he would carry all my love!/  
  
Bakura: //Right. Are you done yet.//  
  
Ryou: /Just one more thing/  
  
****Everyone is in the class room again, and Kaiba is back from wherever it is Kaiba goes. Yugi and Yami are avoiding each other, on account of Yami screams every time he sees Yugi******  
  
Ryou: *rolls into the classroom* *he is wearing a Nile printed skirt and a parka*  
  
Everyone: *stares somewhat shocked and apprehensively*  
  
Malik & Yugi: *looks at each other and smirks*  
  
Ryou: *jumps up and waves wildly* Greetings silly heads!!!  
  
Yami: *dignifiedly leaning against wall* Why are you dressed like a girl baka?  
  
Ryou: *calmly glomps Yami and kisses him full on the lips* I wuve you my bishie face!!!  
  
Yami: *gawks*  
  
Everyone: *has moved ten feet back*  
  
Ryou: I'm not dressed like a girl! I wanted to look like I did in Egypt all those thousands of years ago! *turns to everyone with teary eyes* It looks okay, right? It doesn't make my butt look big does it? *bites on napkin anxiously*  
  
Yugi: *steps forward smiling* Bakura, you have never looked more beautiful!!  
  
Ryou: *cries in relief* Yugi! Why couldn't you have been my hikari! Ryou is so bloody mean to me! He didn't think I looked pretty at all!  
  
Bakura: // *Still naked. Still tied to a car. Is gagged now * MMMMMFF!!!!//  
  
Kaiba: Something tells me I should have stayed Puerto Rico -.-__-.-  
  
Jou: *whispers* You don't know the half of it  
  
Ryou: *pops up in front of Jou, smiling*  
  
Jou: *yips*  
  
Kaiba: *has out recorder* Muahahaha, that will come in handy later  
  
Jou: *is freaking out as "Bakura" has grabbed on to the skin of his face and is stretching it up, down and around!* Eh? B-Bakura. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!  
  
Ryou: *staring at Jou's face in deep thought* I've always wondered how you could completely change the features of your face in a duel. Is it only when Yugi and you win? How do you do it? *stares innocently into Jou's eyes*  
  
Jou: Errrr *sweatdrops* I don't really know. Special German talent?  
  
Ryou: Hmmm. *thoughtful* Well you seem to really love yourself, so it must be something you do when someone you love wins.  
  
Jou: You make me sound so shallow -_-;;  
  
Kaiba: That's because you are.  
  
Jou: *glares* *yips as "Bakura" releases his face but moves in to leer*  
  
Ryou: So then that would mean...that you love Yugi!!!  
  
All: *gasp*  
  
Kaiba: O_o!!!!*has a convulsion*  
  
Yami: O___O!!! *dies*  
  
Yugi: *is confused* ^__^??  
  
Jou: *stunned* I-I-I-I-I  
  
Kaiba & Yami: * come up behind Jounouchi, with fangs and the Eye of Horus glowing on their heads* JOUNOUCHI!!! MUTT!!!  
  
Jou: ~__~;; *whimpers and backs away* It's not true, I swear! Seto I swear-  
  
Ryou: *sticks foot out innocently whistling*  
  
Jou: *trips and falls on top of Yugi.*  
  
Yugi: Ohayou Jou-kun ^_^  
  
Jou: *chokes* Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh.....*can feel the fire and brimstone backdrop behind him*  
  
Kaiba & Yami: ROOOOOARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *start chasing Jou, sending shadow blasts after him*  
  
Jou: *yips once more and runs from the room*  
  
Kaiba & Yami: *chases him*  
  
All: (-)__(-)  
  
Marik: Well that was completely pointless and amusing  
  
Yugi: I'm glad to see Kaiba and Yami are finally getting on well though, they're usually at each others throats.  
  
***From outside***  
  
Yami: MIND CRUSH!!!!  
  
Jou: YIPE!!  
  
Seto: FACE THE MUSIC MUTT!!! *sends sparkly shadow powers after Jou*  
  
*hits a car instead*  
  
***in the class***  
  
All: *stare at "Bakura"*  
  
Ryou: *waves* ^________________^  
  
Teacher: *taps "Bakura" on the shoulder* Young man, as pretty as you look in that dress, you are completely out of uniform and must change immediately.  
  
Ryou: *stares at thoughtfully at teacher*  
  
Teacher: *sweatdrop*...........  
  
Ryou: *glomps teacher, bushing happily again*  
  
Teacher: *is scarred for life*  
  
Ryou: *has let go of teacher, who has melted to the floor* Well, I'm going to find food now! Ja Mina!!  
  
All: *flinches at when he waves*  
  
Ryou: *skips merrily away*  
  
Bakura: ....mmmfff...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
So tired. Had_to_finish_chappie. Nnnghh.  
  
REVIEWS REVIVE THE AUTHORESS-SAMA!!!  
  
Muah, Authoress-sama. I like that. Arigtaou Safiremoon!  
  
Uh, oh yes! Reviews please! 


	6. Dear God, It's An Author's Note

Hey, mina, this is not a chapter, and right now I'm taking down the chapter I had added to Hikari's Day Out. For some strange reason, the delirium that is Fanfiction.net, will NOT, repeat, WILL NOT let me put in quotations.  
  
This would explain why you could not tell actions and thoughts, from what the characters were saying. Hell, even my own thoughts weren't separated. I tried several times to fix this, but FF.net simply won't allow. Until this is fixed, chapter six along with other chapters will be down, until further notice.  
  
Bastards.....  
  
Hoping you are enjoying the ride so far, and you are not TOO angry, (considering my lasting period of silence), I will get chapter six and hopefully seven, up as soon as I possibly can.  
  
Love Ya little chickies!!  
  
Opal Bean 


	7. Chapter Six: Who Didn't See This Coming?

Chapter 6: Who Didn't See This Coming??  
  
Yugi and his gang are all sitting around in the classroom talking. Everyone but Ryou and Yugi, are nervous and unsure whether it had been a good idea to get up today or not   
  
Yugi: So how did it go with Bakura last night? Did he manage to free himself, or did you get bored?  
  
Ryou: sighs No, I had to eventually let him out. Pegasus got free, and he only listens to Bakura. Apparently he can sense the difference.  
  
Yugi: Really?  
  
Ryou: Yup. He bit my hand see. shows bandaged hand   
  
Yugi: Interesting....  
  
Marik walks into the classroom with smoke and wind flying about the cloak that is completely hiding him from view. His eyes are glowing and are the only things visible from the shadows on his face   
  
Anzu: Konnichiwa, Marik-kun! smiles in relief   
  
Everyone: sighs in relief as Marik is acting like himself. Completely insane.   
  
Marik: turns to face Anzu Anzu-chan??  
  
Anzu: bad impression of the 'Yugi 100 watt smile Yes, what is it Marik- kun?  
  
Marik: KUMAGORO MIRACLE BEAM!!!!! Throws a stuffed bunny rabbit at her   
  
Anzu: Ack!!! Is knocked into the wall creating a big crater   
  
Marik: whips off the cloak to reveal!.....himself in a full body pink bunny suit Another dull soul saved by shinny shinny Kuma- looooooooooove!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: jaws have hit the floor and eyes are shadowed by depressing blue air   
  
Kaiba: Dear God, its happening again....  
  
Jounouchi: It can't go on! Please Kami, make it not go on!!!  
  
Marik: has retrieved pink bunny from unconscious Anzu, after hitting the twittering birds flying about her head with it turns to everyone   
  
Everyone: takes a step back   
  
Marik: HIKARI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Malik: /Having fun so far, anata?/  
  
Marik:DON'T CALL ME THAT, IMP!! I'M THE FEARSOME MALIK!! DEAR TO NO ONE!!!!!!!   
  
Malik: / But your so sweet!! /  
  
Marik: As soon as I escape this cleverly crafted hell-pit of a prison, I shall make you pay!! struggle's with the lock on toddler play pen   
  
Malik: /Oh, come now, its not that bad! /  
  
Marik: YES IT IS!! Where did you come up with the plans for this place, anyway!   
  
Malik: /I modeled it after Yugi's soul room. /  
  
Marik: I always knew that little pansy ass, pyramid-sucker was warped!   
  
Malik: /Ha! You should see Yami's! Yugi told me about some of the rooms that hentai keeps. I can't even begin to fathom how Yugi manages to walk at all /  
  
Marik: smirks You mean like you? After our little screw sessions, your always whining about not being able to move. Maybe you're the REAL pansy!   
  
Malik: / glares into his head Watch yami, your treading thin ice /  
  
Marik: What the bloody fucking hell, is ice!?   
  
Malik: /YOU ASKED FOR IT!!!/ turns to the Yugioh clan waves Hey mina! I've got some special news about myself! I wanted you to know, that I...am a uke.  
  
All: gasp!  
  
Bakura: somewhere from the back I could have told you that dumb ass!!  
  
Marik: FUCK OFF BAKURA! YOU'RE ALWAYS THE BITCH! AND AS FOR YOU- points at Malik's head? I'M GOING TO BITCH SLAP YOU STRAIGHT!!!!   
  
Maik: giggles...girlishly and beams manically at them The nice man at the shop gave me this suit, because I told him I'm starting a business!! A token of how much I love my strong AND powerful hikari!!  
  
Marik: Don't you dare! DON'T YOU DARE!!!!   
  
Malik: I will masquerade as any kind of kinky fantasy you want and do whatever you want for fifty cents an hour! As a uke, of course!  
  
Yugi's classmates: choking on their tongues   
  
The Yamis: gaping, horrified at the fallen one   
  
Yugi and Ryou: pissing themselves laughing   
  
Marik: Has self combusted  
  
Malik: is now dressed up as a Texan saloon girl, turns to the readers computer screen Ya'll come back now, ya hear? Plenty of fun for no one in the family!!  
  
Yugi: practically in tears He's...he's...he's turned him into a-a...falls over laughing   
  
Ryou: bent over and IN tears A 50 cent whore!!!  
  
Marik: his lips sliding down the wall somewhere in his soul room So much anger...can't think...brain...under...foot..  
  
This wasn't a particularly a good chapter. It was just to let you know that I am not dead, and neither is this ficcie!  
  
However I do feel I may soon combust myself as teachers feel the need to kill us all with last minute assignments, that slowly burn the soul and numb all feeling....  
  
Oh yeah, I don't own YuGiOh, or Gravitation, or a Kumagoro Miracle Beam.  
  
I'll try and have something out by the end of the week my lovelies, until then:  
  
May I pretty please have a few reviews??? 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Ha ha, Hooker

*Yugi and Ryou are locked in an intense arguement over "I can't believe it's not butter!" when Malik comes screaming into the room*

Yugi & Ryou: *look at each other*

Ryou: Hey there, Malik? Er...buddy? Seems you're a little upset there...

Malik: *sniffles and nods while biting the head off one of Ryou's Justin Timberlake dolls*

Yugi: SO WHAT HAPPENED, BITCH!?

Ryou and Malik: O_O!!

Yugi: =^__________^=

Ryou & Malik: *Sweat drop nervously*

Yugi: * looks at Malik* Scone, love?

Ryou: -.-_-. - ...anyway. Malik, do tell us what happened.

Malik: *hiccups and swallows one of the doll heads* Marik won't talk to me anymore! His lips are somewhere in his soul room, but they're not saying anything!

Yugi & Ryou: *lean in* ZOMG!

Malik: Uh huh, *hiccups* the last thing he said is he get me back.

Yugi: Awww, piffle head! *pats Malik's head* ?Do you think he will get free from his soul room and key up your Harley and pee on all your pairs of leather pants that one time I was really drunk and Yami dared me to do it, because he hates you both?

Ryou: *hides the fine China and other stereotypical British paraphernalia*

Yugi: I mean – do you think he will get free from his soul room? ^_^;;

Malik: No, *sniff* though that did happen to my Harley once, *starts to bawl worse* but I don't think I'll ever know who did iiiiiiiiiiit!!

Yugi: *face plants onto scones*

Ryou: *face plants onto fine China* *internally bleeds*

Malik: If he doesn't pull himself together, I'll have to be a whole, and I can't be one of those law abiding, one partner having prudes!!

Pegasus: Well, why not?

Yugi and Malik: O_O!!

Yugi: He's still here!?

Ryou: *glares at cage* Yes, Bakura has taken a liking to him, even more so once he found out my distaste for his terrible suits and haircuts. *holds up glass eye* Hey! See this? Huh? See it!? You open your mouth again I'm feeding it to Malik! *holds eye over Malik*

Malik: *starts panting and yipping with excitement*

Pegasus* Curls in a ball and glares over his shoulder* *Makes hungry Chewbacca noise*

Ryou: Damn, he's hungry *gives Pegasus a wine glass and dark red champagne bottle* Here, you little bleeder

Malik: What the hell? You only have to feed him alcohol?

Ryou: No, actually, it's blood.

Yugi & Malik: Blood!?!

Ryou: Anzu's blood to be more exact

Yugi: What the fuck, man?

Ryou: Hey, he only drinks virgin's blood and she is the only virgin dumb enough to get caught in everything single trap that enters into Bakura's twisted mind! I'm sorry but when you fall for the sign "NOT GAY BISHIES, IN DARK WAREHOUSE ON THE LEFT" you have it coming!

Yugi: That's fu—wait. SHE'S a virgin?

Ryou: Yep.

Malik: Ahahahahahahahahaah! How the hell is that even remotely possible? Isn't she like...a Z-cup or something?

Ryou: She goes to a high school where every single good looking guy is gay, and any other "not part of the main cast", loser is a perverted, raping freak whose face and body resemble fat, aged cheese. It's more like she's going to be a nun. Or dead, if Yugi ever gives up that last little homophobic charade of "being in love with her".

Malik and Ryou: *snicker*

Yugi: Hey! I do love her!

Malik: Yeah, as a fag loves his hag.

Ryou & Malik: *break down cackling on the floor*

*blast of Shadow magic crashes through the floor, and up into the ceiling*

Bakura: *from the living room* Shut up! I'm trying to watch T.J. Hooker!

Malik: Please, yami-Ryou, Shatner's acting sucks harder than you!

* A pissed off raccoon flies and K.O.'s Malik in the face*

Bakura: He's still not as bad as your English voice actor, you anorexic, model wannabe!

Pegasus: *snickers*

Malik: Shut up! *blasts Pegasus' hair to the shadow realm*

Pegasus: *screams hysterically and faints*

Yugi and Ryou: *jump up* WTF!

Yugi: Malik! How the hell do you have shadow magic! You're not a yami!

Malik: *starts to cry again* I knoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!

Ryou: Than how did you do that! Unless! Malik....are you in Marik's body right now?

Malik: *starts to cry harder and squeals* Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssss!

Yugi: Than what's your problem? Why aren't you out terrorizing the world?

Malik: I can't think of anything...

Ryou: *face plants onto more fine China* What? That's the only problem?

Malik: *throws down hankie in a huff* Well what do you expect? My yami is completely mental! What hasn't he done? What could I possibly do to top the bitch!

Yugi & Ryou: ....Fair point

Yugi: Forget Marik, than! We have a hikari in full control of a MIA yami! We could pull this shit on anyone!

Malik & Ryou: ZOMFG!

Malik: Who should we do next?

Yugi: *grins maniacally* Kaiba.

Ryou: ROFLCOPTER!

Malik: Let's do it then!

Yugi: YEA-er...Ryou? Bloods leaking out of your nose

Ryou: Ignore it.

Yugi & Malik: OKAY!

Bakura: *still Hookering* I SAID, SHUT UP!


End file.
